Boxing Day

Happy Boxing Day everyone. Well i say happy but really it is a horrible day. This is the one day of the year that, upon entering a mall, every person looses their manners. You pretty much have to walk with your elbows out to just protect yourself. A random stranger will bump you and then blame you for it when clearly it is their fault.

Seeing this attitude towards shopping gave me an idea for a game though. It's called Mall Brawl. What you do is you get a bunch of your friends or family together and go out to a mall on Boxing Day. Once you get there you have to get two random strangers to start a fight in a store. Five points for a verbal fight, another five if punches are thrown. Ten points will be awarded if mall security show up and twenty points if the police are called. A total of fifty points will be awarded if a riot is started in the mall. However if anyone dies all your points will be taken away because it is all fun in games until someone gets trampled in a riot. So looking for a fun game next Christmas with the family try Mall Brawl. 

Also TVs in washrooms...great idea!

i don't know who the person was who thought a TV could enhance their lavatory experience but well done sir, well done.

If you disagree with anything i have said remember my blog's themes are ignorance and stupidity so i will not listen to a word you say. 

Now i will finish with a quote from a friend of mine:

"I didn't know your throat had a vagina, drink your rum"

And on that bombshell thanks for reading.

p.s. if you are confused about my post and how it relates to each other relax, it doesn't at all. I just don't have a properly functioning brain so it comes out like this.

Hey There Stranger

Well hello there stranger, long time no see. Man a lot has changed since we last talked. I'm a little older, a little wiser, man i've got hair in really weird places i feel like a Sasquatch. I have made it 19 days without coffee and i am no longer angry like i was well...not as angry. I have learned Italian (and by have i mean have not). Thats is pretty much my life since you last saw me.

I am still that same boring idiotic person who writes blogs and, for reasoning that escapes me, you read them.

On a even less serious note there is someone sitting at the table i am writing at that is even more boring and, dare i say it, more stupid then me. She wants me to give a shout out to her so her it is. I would use the words 'check it' but she does not have a blog so wont really make sense. Anyway this ones for you, you know who you are.

And now for something completely different

this was a conversation i heard earlier today and i thought i should share it with you

G: Does anyone want a muffin?

B: could i trade your offer for more chips?

If you didn't find that funny then please don't tell me about it. Anyway thanks for reading

Day 6 and Then Some

It has been six days since my last coffee. I didn't think i was going to make it this far. I am having to get a lot of work done without coffee which was way more difficult then i thought it was going to be. Still, i soldier on.

I have noticed, however, that i have become a bit more mean since i took this challenge. I did almost throw my phone at one of my friends who was rubbing it in that they could have coffee and i could not. There is something we could all learn from this near tragic incident, if you know someone who is addicted to coffee let them drink it because they will only hurt the ones around them. We all need to do our part to stop something like this from happening.

On a happier note i already have two people who owe me coffees at the end of the challenge. The first because i paid for their printer fees. The second because i was able to get from Jesus Christ to Nazi Zombies on a wiki challenge. There is no actual page for Nazi Zombies but i got to a page that had Nazi Zombies on them so it counts. It was a valiant effort on my part, I was a little concerned when i got into economics and capitalism but sure enough i found what i was looking for and came out victorious. 

On that note i encourage all of you, when you should be doing work, to go onto wikipedia and see how long it takes you to get to JC from the home page and how long it takes you to get from JC to something completely different from just clicking on random links.

Thanks for reading and i am sorry if my last note (Language and My Day) offended anyone...wait a minute, no i'm not :)

Langauge and My Day (What a Mix)

I want to write on language (which is odd because i have no grasp of it)

I want to write on peoples use of language by writing about my day the way a seventeen year old would

Like today i was like you know totally bored, you know? I was like sitting on a chair like thinking and stuff. And i was like, you know, reading a like book. And it was totally, you know, not cool. It had pictures which was like too cool but you know it was just, you know, boring and like really disgusting. They like showed a picture of like a vagina, i know, as if. I was like reading along and then like it came out at me and i was like "yo" thats like totally you know like wrong.

Then i was like dude, i am done with this you know stuff. So i was like procrastinating and like not doing work cause you know thats what like that big word means. So i was like not doing work and then like a friend of mine started like talking to me, i know like too cool. And he was like "my day is more boring then your day" and i was like "as if" i have like thee most boring day out of anyone and like your day is sooo like not.

And like i should you know come back to the like book cause i got to like read it or something. And i think it is really wrong that like the author just shows like totally rude images. And like also his like language is like soooo not cool. I think he should like totally grow up in his like vocabulary (wow that is like a big word) you know?

I Don't Have a Problem, I Enjoy Every Minute Of It.

Yesterday i found out my friend XQ thinks i have a problem. He thinks that i am addicted to coffee. This is sooo not true! I drink coffee for two reasons. Reason number one because i like it and reason number two, because i need it...wait a minute that doesn't sound good for me. Alright so maybe i have a bit of a problem. However i think that it could be much worse after all i only average two large coffees a day...

Anyway, XQ decided that i should do a 30 day challenge of not drinking coffee for that time. I agreed to this challenge because i don't think i have a problem however i think that this may have been a mistake. I have a lot of work that i need to do over these next few weeks and i have just agreed to do it without coffee.

So, by the time these 30 days are done i could very well be dead and it will all be XQ's and Tim Horton's fault. It's funny, i always thought i was going to be killed by my eating habits not my drinking habits. However if i pile on the McDonalds it could still happen.

Thanks for reading and, incase i die before i post again, I love you all...except XQ...no i'm just joking, i don't love any of you

If I Had a Million Dollars

If I had a million dollars i wouldn't build a tree fort in my yard.

If I had a million dollars I wouldn't buy a green dress.

If I had a million dollars I...might take a limousine to the store but

If I had a million dollars i would build a camp.

This camp would combine two of my loves in life; Rugby and Jesus. Many people think the two don't mix but i feel i could make it work (with God's help of course). I would set up a camp for children to come learn how to play Rugby but also so they could learn about God's love for them. I have no clue where i would do this, whether i would do it in Canada or go abroad. I actually have no clue if i will do it. It seems like such a lofty goal and i'm barely 5'9". But, if i had a million dollars i would be planning out locations for the camp instead of just blogging about it.

But then questions start to build up in my mind. Should i let money get in the way? If God has given me this dream then should i trust that this is his plan for me? Would i actually take a limousine to the store?

It would be cool though, teaching kids Rugby but also teaching them to give all the glory to God. It would make me feel like i did something really important with my life because, i'm a history major, i am not expecting to have a very important and life changing career. The more i think about it the more i want to stop doing history and get this camp going which leaves me with one final question. Is it stupid or foolish to chase one's dreams?

thanks for reading

p.s. If anyone wants to donate a spare million dollars i would love to accept it and, just cause i can, i want to throw a shout out to my bro P-Toro and his blog Relationally Speaking. He got me on blogging so give him some love and 'Check It'

When i am Bored

I tend to get bored very easily. When this happens my mind wonders and i stop doing whatever i should be doing (for example i should be writing a paper right now but i decided to write a blog). This got me thinking, what are thee most outrageous things i have done when i am bored? One thing i often do when i am bored is think of inventions i could make to make my life more easy. There are three of note from last year. Now it is important to note i am a history major so i posses no skills essential to inventing something. however i did anyway and here are my top three inventions from first year university:

In third the Air Freshener

Now this invention comes in third because it is not very creative yet it worked...sort of. The room i had in first year had windows that did not open in a building which circulated that air once a week thus my room was stuffy and it stank. I had decided, while trying to work on a paper, that i could solve this problem. What i did was i took one of my dryer sheets and duck taped it to my fan. the fan blew air through the dryer sheet and freshened my room, or so i thought. My roomie thought it was a stupid idea because my room just smelled like laundry instead. My roomie did change his mind and decided that this was not the stupidest invention ever. He thought the next one was.

In Second the Backpack Tray of Laziness 

This invention was described by my roomie as thee worst invention in the history of mankind. I am a lazy person and i had designed an invention to get my backpack from the side of my desk (where i put it down everyday after class) to my bed (where i lay down every day after class). As a result of my laziness i was not willing to go from my bed to my desk to get it so, one day when avoiding an assignment, i made an ingenious invention. I took a cardboard box, flattened it and placed it beside my desk. I then made a rope of duck tape from the cardboard to my bed. i then created a hoop out of q tips and attached it to a hook on the wall. Provided that the path between my desk and bed was clean it worked perfectly...well almost perfectly. I had no way of resetting the tray and i was too lazy to get up and do it. 50% successful isn't bad though, is it? I would have to agree with my roomie, it was thee worst invention in the history of mankind but i think i could make it better, ill get back to you on it.

And in first Robo-Hitler

When you hear the name you probably think it is some sort of robot and it is...not. Now that i think of it it wasn't much of an invention but it was still a beautiful peace of art. I took duck tape and made a picture on our mirror. I made the head and neck of a robot and gave it a Hitler stache. Someone was then able to stand facing in the mirror and look like Robo-Hitler. What better way to start your day then looking in the mirror and seeing Robo-Hitler, i know you can't think of one. I was forced to take it down however because my roomie was having an interview about his magic (ill put a link to his website at the bottom of the page, check it) and we needed to clean the room up in 30 minutes. I had never cleaned my side of the room that year so it was rather dirty. Robo-Hitler however was almost left up. In our haste we forgot about him till moments before the journalist student came in. I often wonder what she would have wrote about him if it was left up. At any rate, Robo-Hitler was one of the most unique things i had ever made in my life. It took little time to make and no engineering skills but it was still awesome and if you could see it you would agree.

Now here is the link as promised:

Chris Ouellette - Shift Reality  

you should really check it out, he is a great magician. Now, If you have ever made some cool invention that either worked well or just flat out failed i would love to hear about it. Anyway thats all from me

Thanks for reading

My Day, As Told By Me

First off, sorry to all those people who do not like sports and, thus, did not like my last two posts. This one will be different...hopefully.

These last couple of weeks i have found it increasingly difficult to wake up for my 8:30 classes. I have early classes tuesday through friday and i manage to sleep through at least one of them a week. I don't even plan it that way it just happens. My alarm goes off and i rest my head for what i think is 5 minutes and all of a sudden it is 11. I vowed that today (thursday) would be different. My day was based around me getting up and going to my english class. This did not happen.

I went to bed rather late so waking up in the morning was made that much more difficult but i persevered and at 7 i courageously dragged myself out of bed. Heroic, i know. I preceded to the shower and, despite being incredibly tired,  i managed to stay awake the whole time (i have actually been known to fall a sleep in the shower). Now that i'm out of the shower, all clean and fresh smelling, i start to dress myself. Upon the successful completion of putting my boxers on i turn on my computer. I surf the net for a while then i decide to check WebCT to see if my profs have put up any new marks. Instead i found a note from my prof that her lecture at 8:30 had been cancelled.

My day had already started to fall apart, after all my planned, productive, day began with me going to class and taking notes (which i have been neglecting so far in that coarse). I couldn't even go back to bed because i can never sleep after i have showered, my body just does not allow it. But, worst of all, i was still half naked and indecisive on what i should do. I decided to not let this event set me back so i made a new plan. At 9:30 i was going to leave for school so i could get some work done then stay at school until my last class ended at 5:30. However it was still only 7:30 and i had two hours before i was going to go.

Some people would have left early, some would have done some work, some would have gone back to bed, maybe you think i would do one of these things. Oh Contraire, i decided to reward myself for getting up early by playing xbox for two hours...half naked. Yes, i didn't get my clothing on until the literally a minute before i left and, let me tell you, few things are more liberating then relaxing in nothing but your undergarments for two hours.

Now because this was the highlight of my day i feel it would be cruel to share the rest of my day with you for i feel it is too boring, even for a blog.

If you feel that what i have done is weird please do not tell me about it and if you have done something similar i still don't want to hear from you but all the power to ya.

As usual thanks for reading

Oh Moss, Where Art Thou?

Be forewarned reader, this is a very football oriented post and if you do not like sports i suggest you do not read

Now if you are still with me lets begin.

Over these last couple of days something very strange has happened in the NFL, a future HOF receiver was released less then a month after being acquired by the Vikings. Randy Moss was traded to the Vikings from the patriots for a third round draft pick in the 2011 NFL draft on October 6th, 2010. He was however placed on waivers monday by the Vikings. There are so many things wrong with this move by Brad Childress (Vikings Head Coach). It is important to note that Childress has complete control over the 53 man roster in Minnesota as part of his contract. Thus, Childress does not have to consult the GM, Front Office or Owner about anything to do with players including roster moves. This is too much power for a coach who has yet to produce a Super Bowl for the organization.

Now Randy Moss, in my opinion, is one of if not thee best jump ball receiver in NFL history. He has lost some of his speed but he can still compete against the best DB's in league, which he has done. The Vikings lost their jump ball receiver (Sidney Rice) to injury and their passing game struggled because of it. Moss was having problems with the Patriots and a deal was struck between the Vikings and the Pats, Moss for third rounder. 

Draft picks in the NFL are very valuable (especially in the first three rounds). A third rounder can produce a solid rookie starter for the team. Some third rounders go on to be Hall of Famers, Joe Montana for example. This move by Childress seems, to me, to be the stupidest NFL managerial move i have ever seen. Moss does not only help a team by catching the ball but he can draw coverage so that other receivers are left in one-on-ones or wide open. I don't think the Vikings know how much Moss has helped their receiver core. Any Super Bowl hopes for the Vikings are now over and, to add insult to injury, they will have to pay Moss' salary for the rest of the season no matter where he is playing.

Whats going to happen now though. The Vikings were very disappointing as a team before Moss got there and they will continue to be. They have been unable to retain that 'magic' from a year ago that saw them fall just short of a Super Bowl appearance. The results of this season and Moss' eminent departure have left Viking's fans calling for Childress' head, and it wouldn't be out of the question to think that they will get what they want. If this season has taught us anything, from The Browns beating the Super Bowl champs to Moss' release, it is that anything can happen in the NFL. For Moss the future is also uncertain. The five worst teams (Buffalo, Dallas, Carolina, San Fran, and Denver) will have the first crack at him. If none of those team go for him then the rest of the league will have it's chance. None of those five teams would be a good fit for Moss. They all have no chance at a Super Bowl and that is what Moss wants.

There are three teams, in particular, i think will be the best fit for Moss. First, the Dolphins. Miami has a strong armed QB in Henne which can work nicely with Moss' ability to get down the field and catch the jump ball. Also having Moss opposite Brandon Marshall in the receiver core will give defences a lot of trouble in their coverage schemes. It will also give Miami a great boost in their push for a playoff spot. Another team would be Moss' old team, the Patriots. If the Pats are convinced that Moss will not be a distraction in the locker room then they will have gained a third round pick and a top player with his salary already paid for the price of nothing and Moss has proven to work well with Tom Brady in the Pats offence. Moss has also left hints that he wants to go back to his old team.

The other team i am thinking of may come as a surprise. I think Moss could really help the St. Louis Rams. Remember they were the worst team a year ago but they have made a lot of strides as a team since then. They have a QB in Sam Bradford who is getting more comfortable every game he plays, they have a great running game led by Steven Jackson and their defence has been surprisingly good. The one place the Rams are lacking in is the receiver position. The Rams are currently 4-4 but they are in a very weak division and could easily push for top spot in the NFC West. This would give them an automatic playoff spot and, with Moss' help, they could pull some upsets off against some good teams in the playoffs. 

But thats all just speculation on my part, Moss could go anywhere and, after this season, he becomes a unrestricted free agent. So he may be content to wait till then before pursuing a Super Bowl with a team of his choosing. Anyway, i think this move by Childress is incredibly foolish and it is really going to hurt the Vikings in more then one way and that maybe his time in Minnesota is over or it will be over at the end of the season. Who knows? 

If you enjoyed this post, great. If not i don't really care, feel free not to tell me about it.

Thanks for reading and, incase i don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening and good night

What is wrong with the Leafs?

There is one thing that everyone who reads my posts should know about, I am a HUGE Toronto Maple Leafs fan. I bleed blue and white. Also, if you have followed hockey at all these last couple of years you may know that the Leafs may not have been the most dominate team in the NHL. Well, i may as well face it, the Leafs have sucked. The last cup they won was in the sixties and last season was the worst i had ever seen them starting the season off with eight defeats. The Leafs had solidified themselves as the laughing stock of the hockey world.


And that really hurt me. I have so much passion for my boys in blue and white but even i gotta face the facts. However this season seemed to be the reward that every faithful Leaf fan was waiting for. Starting of the season 4-0 was a great sight after 0-8 and beating Ottawa 5-1 was the cherry on the top of my very high cake. Then something happened and i am still trying to figure it out, they started to loose. First an OT lose then it was multiple regulation loses. The question Leafs fans were asking themselves went from 'will they win the cup?' to 'will they win the next game?'. And the answer that keeps popping up in my mind, for both questions, is no. And, at least for the first question, it wont be yes for a long time. 


So, maybe the problem lies with Bran Burke. He after all traded away what ended up being the second overall pick in last years draft and the leafs first round pick in the upcoming draft. Also, he has built a team that can fight but that can not rely on scoring from more then two players. Wilson's time as head coach has not seen the Leafs see any success so maybe it is his fault? But, of coarse there are the players. Grabovski has had a disappointing start to the season along with Kulemin, Bozak and Versteeg. Phaneuf has yet to score a goal and Kaberle, as usual, will not shoot. In my opinion, all three have resulted in the Leafs troubles of late. 


The Leafs are by far thee most disappointing team in the NHL, and have been for a long time, and no one is more disappointed then me. Now the question on my mind is how can the Leafs be fixed? Answer: only God knows. Some possible answers are either bringing in all Toronto born players who grew up loving the Leafs or using draft picks to build a team (huh, might be a good idea Brian, maybe you should check it out). Whatever the answer is it won't be easy. So what do I do now? Give up on my boys? NEVER! Like i said before i bleed blue and white and that will never change. Besides, you don't cheer for a team because they are the best team in the league. You cheer for a team because they are your team, no matter where they are in the league table. 


I guess all thats left to say then is Go Leafs Go and thanks for reading and, incase i don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening and good night

I Wish

Hey this post is going to be a bit weird (well all of mine have been weird but this will be different). I am a big fan of poetry and this is some poetry i have come across, hope you like it, it's called I Wish.

I wish, i could play the guitar

i wish, i could grow a full beard

I wish i could write awesome poetry

and, I wish...I was bigger

And its not what your thinking 

I wish i was taller

I wish that i had arms that didn’t resemble pipe cleaners

I wish i had thighs of steal

And, i wish...i was bigger

And its probably what your thinking

I wish girls would look at me and say wow

But they don’t

I wish i wasn’t getting fat

I wish i didn’t have weird tan lines

I wish i could talk to beautiful women without sounding like an idiot

And, I wish that you had me and that i had you

I wish you could see past this flabery, weak, white guy

I wish you could see a caring, gracious person and thee most modest man you have ever seen in your life.

But you can’t

I wish you didn’t drink the way you do. 

I wish i didn't walk into the washroom that one night

I wish that you feel the same way i do

But you don’t

And i guess i was a fool, for thinking you could like me, for wishing something that could never happen

And, I wish i hadn’t

Hope you enjoyed that and, if not, too bad. If you guys have any poetry you want to share with me i would love to hear it.

Thanks for reading and, incase i don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening and good night.

We put the 'I' in Quidditch

 Yesterday i reluctantly went to what my friends called a sporting event. Quidditch, for those of you who don't know, is the sport played by witches and wizards in J.K. Rowling's series of books about the fictional character Harry Potter. In the books, Quidditch is played on brooms flying above the ground. I was under the impression that this would be impossible and...i was right. The players had to run with a stick (broom, lacrosse stick, twig, etc.) between their legs at all times and they had to put a ball between one of the three hoops on each side. There were also three other balls that were called bludgers. They were basically dodge balls and if a player was hit they had to go back to their own hoops before they could continue playing. Only certain players are allowed to handle the bludgers, they are called the beaters, and only certain players are allowed to handle the qauffle (the main ball). On top of that there is something called the snitch. For those of you who remember from Harry Potter the snitch is a small golden ball with wings that, if caught, will give the team 150 points and, in all likely hood, the win. In the 'moggles game' (as the Carleton Quidditch Coach described it) catching the snitch is only worth 40 points. In both cases catching the snitch does signal the end of the game. The snitch in the moggle game is a dude dressed in gold who can go anywhere, yes anywhere, in the world as long as he/she is back by the 20 minute mark. The game is full contact and to be honest thee most ridiculous thing i have ever seen.

I was very skeptical of Quidditch being considered a sport. If it is a sport it would be the only sport made as a tribute to a book. I was told i could not judge Quidditch until i went to see a game so i did. I came to the conclusion that Quidditch is an amazing sport. I had loads of fun watching it and i really got into. It isn't my favourite sport and it never will be but i think that it was not only a sport but a great sport. For anyone out there who disagrees with me go check a game out and if you still disagree then you need to go get your head checked out. 

Quidditch is thee most unorthodox sport i have ever seen, it isn't professional in any way, and it is was basically made as a tribute to a book but it is so much more then that. Quidditch gives the spectator a game full of hitting, excitement and passion from the athletes and, at the end of the day, isn't that what all great sports are made of?

As usual, if you have a comment about my poor spelling and/or grammar or if you want to share a different opinion from my own you are invited to keep those comments to yourself. Seriously if you have anything to say about Quidditch, or any sports for that matter, i would love to hear it.

Thanks for reading and, incase i don't see ya, good afternoon, good evening and good night.

Heres to New Beginnings and Dolphin Lady, wherever you are.

So i have never blogged before so i don't really know what to talk about. A friend of mine told me to talk about my day (kinda like a diary). So here we go...

Dear Diary,

today i slept through two classes, why you might ask, because it was friday and i am a lazy bugger. but my day got worse after that. I became very upset. Well, thats an understatement, i was pissed off. It isn't easy for me to talk about it cause i have no clue who is going to read this. However i was pretty close to going against a principle i have always held dear. I was ashamed of myself. I wanted to punch something (and still do) but i have got over it a bit. Wait a minute this is sad and pathetic for me to be blogging about.

Now for something completely different, Papal Bling

Yes thats right i am going to talk about papal bling and memorabilia. I have been thinking about this for the last couple of days because some dude asked in my christianity class how much a papal ring would go for on ebay? This led the prof to show us different catholic and pope memorabilia such as:

1. The Papal Apron (available in three colours; red, white and yellow) with Pope's Papal crest on the front,
2. Catholic Church coffee mug and my personal favourite,
3. Pope Pious IX cologne (fresh citrus flavour)

Is it just me or is this just ridiculous. Why would anyone think to make a Pope Pious IX cologne? I won't lie though, i am intrigued by it.

And now for something completely different, Dolphin Lady

The other day i was walking to school with my roommate. On the way we stopped at a light and noticed a girl standing beside us. Her knees bent inward as opposed to outward, this alarmed us. Because i was going on 26 hours of being awake it made sense in my head to call her dolphin lady, why, i have no clue. Nothing about her resembled a dolphin yet as my sleep deprived mind thought about it it made sense. I was not even able to explain it to myself but deep down i knew she was dolphin lady and it got me thinking, what if she was a superhero? Maybe. All i know is that, despite the fact she creeped me out, i feel a little bit safer knowing dolphin lady is out there.

So thats it, if you are wondering why this post is weird, its because i am tired and not thinking straight. I only wrote this because i promised a good friend of mine i would. Now if you have a problem with anything i have said or with any grammar or spelling problems please feel free to keep those comments to yourself. Thus, if you see someone on the street that looks like a superhero in disguise or you see a ridiculous religious product i would love to hear about it.

Thanks for reading and incase i don't see ya good afternoon, good evening and good night