...And I'm Back

Well it has certainly been a long time since I wrote on this thing but I'm sure you all are glad to see me getting back at it. My blog is full of random thoughts that I have so why break with tradition?

Here is a thought I had a couple of months ago when I was finishing up my exams. I remember hearing something around that time that had to do with a persons life flashing before their eyes in the lead up to their death. The reason given for why this happened is that your mind is looking for some experience you have had that will help you get through whatever it is thats killing you. If your mind finds an experience that can get you out of the unfortunate situation you find yourself in you remember it and get out of the trouble you have found yourself in. If theres nothing to help you your life plays out in your mind and you die

Here's my thought. Say you bring a bucket of water with you into your exam room. Yes, some of you who are as clever as me know where I'm going with this but, for the benefit of those less fortunate, I'll continue. On your exam you come across a question you can't remember the answer to. All you have to do is put your head in that water and keep it in you till your mind starts going through every lecture and reading for the course because, apparently (according to the aforementioned thing I heard), your mind catalogues every single detail you experience (please note if this isn't true you are invited to keep your thoughts to yourself). So once your mind finds the answer; you remember it and pull your head out of the water and write it down. I know, genius. Bask in the glory that is my imagination. However, a slight note of caution. Minor really. It's untested...and my research is based on some random lady I saw on the TV and the comedy show Blackadder (the episode is called 'Back and Forth', check it out). Also, if you never attended lecture don't do this because you will die. On the flip side, say you're in an exam that will determine your future and you're on the brink of failing and you can't handle a future where you failed this exam...not saying, just saying (on a serious note: I do note condone suicide).

I think I'm going to patent this study method. If you have a possible suggestion for a name put it as a comment. If you have something to say that disproves or even questions what I have just wrote remember this is a blog about my ignorance...don't you dare shine light on it!

Anyway, thanks for reading this and hopefully I'll have something else for guys in the not so distant future.

Black Demon Swan

So I was walking through Blockbuster with some friends of mine and I saw one of thee scariest things ever! Apparently I was the last person to see the cover of the movie Black Swan. If I could be perfectly honest with you it freaked the crap out of me. Natalie Portman is the only person on the cover with pale white skin, black stuff around her eyes and freaky red eyes. Some people have a fear of clowns, I discovered that I have a fear of demon dancers...or maybe just all dancers, who knows? To make things worse, I was watching SNL with Jim Carrey and he does a skit about Black Swan and there is a part that he looks exactly the same as Natalie Portman and he screams at the camera. If you haven't seen it go to youtube and put 'black swan jim carrey snl' and, also, do it when it's light out. Needless to say I will never watch Black Swan (not that I was going to anyway).

Now everyone in Canada who reads this will know that there is an election coming up. I strongly encourage you to go out and vote on election day. I wont tell you who to vote for because I don't think thats right but I urge you to look into the different parities and vote for the one whom you believe in. There are online quizzes that you can take to help you determine where each party stands on the different social and economic issues.

Finally, this week could, possibly, kill me. As with all University students, exams are starting up for me and I have two before the end of this week. Now, if you are someone who isn't in university and wants to help out the poor, hungry, students have I got news for you. The 'Feed The Students Funds' has started up Canada wide. This is an offshoot of 'The Feed Michael Fund.' This fund is very simple, all you have to do is make or buy food and give it to university students. If this is too complicated for you, just give the money to the students and they will go out and get the food for themselves. Hunger is a serious problem in universities across Canada and you can make a difference. Help a student in need.

Thanks for reading!

Is It A Car Or A Tank?

This last week and a bit has been a bit crazy so I want to apologize to the three or so people who read my blog.

First of I want to talk about the Honda Element and how much I LOVE this car. Riding in this car is like riding in a tank, it is amazing! A friend of mine owns an Element and he drove myself and a couple of friends to his house over the weekend and I enjoyed every minute of it. The back seats are slightly raised, making it perfect to put a gun on the roof and having the back seat drivers fire it. Imagine, instead of using traditional bulky tanks, our armed forces used Elements to wage tank warfare. Also, it handles bumps really well which makes it perfect for desert warfare. In Michael's Canada Honda Elements would be outfitted to be the tanks of the Canadian Armed Forces. If your interested in it as a normal, non-tank, boring car, it does 20 mpg in the city and 25 mpg on the highway.

Now, today is a special day. Today is the Birthday of a great man, a man who overacted on a regular basis, a man who found a way to get his shirt off every time an opportunity presented itself, a man who wears a toupee and yes, a man who is a proud Canadian. Today is the 80th Birthday of William Shatner. So Happy Birthday William Shatner who would have thought by looking at you you were 80 but please, you may not look 80 but you are still too old to be taking your shirt off every chance you get.

Finally, I realized my dream yesterday. I want to buy a 'Save the Planet' bumper sticker...and put it on the back of a Hummer. This may seem tedious and weird to you but I will have lived a good life if I accomplish this goal.

p.s. I want to throw a shout out to Silas who introduced me to the awesomeness of the Honda Element.

Well, Long Time, No Talk

Wadup Boys and Girls,

Whats new in the world of me? Well, I'm glad you asked

This week I had something amazing happen. I won a coffee at Tim Hortons! I know, the excitement is almost too much to contain. This improves my odds of winning to 1 in 12 (my total being 2 for 24). You see I actually did not buy this coffee, a friend of mine bought it for me which has made me suspicious of the Tim Hortons in res commons (at Carleton University). I think that they are purposely trying to cheat me out of my rightful winnings. Now for those of you who follow my blog will know that my luck at Roll Up The Rim is almost non-existent. For those of you who don't follow my blog, I'm not speaking to you.

I feel that timmies has two different piles of cups. One pile contenting the winnings equally dispersed and one pile for me. They recognize me and they give me a non-winning cup because they know I will be back no matter what. It is one big conspiracy against me but they won't get away with it. I will...write them an angry letter to express my disapproval at their abuse of my loyal service.

And now for something completely different

On the Facebook status' it asks you "Whats on your mind?" and when my Facebook asked me My first response was 'nothing'. 

And Finally,

I would like to throw a shout out to my good friend Clovis who bought me the coffee that I one for the second time on.

I Need To Get Out

I am in an abusive relationship...with Tim Hortons.

There are one and six odds for winning in Tim Hortons Roll Up The Rim which explains why I am one for fifteen. I just give and give and give...my money and they do nothing but take! They don't love me. My friends tell me to get out of this relationship and go to McDonald's or, if I'm desperate, Starbucks (I wouldn't actually do that, Starbucks is very expensive and would put me in the poor house faster than my luck with Roll Up The Rim).

I just can't leave Tim though. Sure he abuses me, sure he promises me free stuff yet I never get it, sure the people who work for him can barely speak English but we have had good times together. For example, the time he gave me another doughnut when the one I got wasn't filled with jelly.

Deep down I know he is just using me, all he sees in me is my money but when he gave me that one free coffee he made me feel like the most special person in the world and I forgot about how he is cheating on me by giving bikes, BBQs and cars to other people. Maybe I am hoping too much that this relationship can be salvaged but he has me wrapped around his finger and I can't leave him.

I suppose I still love him and I want to work through this if he does too.

p.s. Want to throw a shout out to everyone who has had little to no luck in Roll Up The Rim

Boots Are For Babies...and People Who Like Dry Feet

So today I came to a startling conclusion, my 'all-season' shoes are in fact not all-season. Instead of spending money on multiple pairs of shoes, I spend money on one pair then the left over cash at McDonalds. So I buy one pair of running shoes that I use during the summer, the fall, the winter and the spring. This has never been too much of a problem for me, sure my feet get cold in winter but I survive. However, this morn (yes I'm brining morn back) my 'all-season' shoes met their limit. From yesterday to early this morn Ottawa had a lot of rain fall which is fine except the fact that the rain collects itself into rather large, rather deep, puddles on my walk to school.

You may say "Mike, just walk around the puddles" but it was not that easy. The sides of the puddles were frozen and slanted down into the puddles (well I say puddles but they were more lakes). Oh yes, i had to show of my skills of balance on that treacherous walk. Now, contrary to popular belief, running shoes are not a good choice for rain and puddles if you like dry feet. To avoid the doom of the water I had to attempt to walk on the slanted ice and trusting that I don't fall into the puddle on my right or the Rideau Canal on my left.

It was going great until there was a girl whom, rather snootily, stormed past me, through the puddles, motoring on as if to say "go buy some rain boots you insufferable imbecile". Now I made it to school with only one wet foot but I am torn with a horrible decision, buy more weather appropriate shoes or stay loyal to the shoes that have got me through so much. This leads into a question I pose to you, Should I buy boots or stay with my all-season runners? Please note that if you suggest I buy new shoes you will be expected to chip in.

Just before I go I want to throw a shout out to Roosters at Carleton U where I am writing this, lets be honest, amazing post and I want to throw another shout out to Amber D who is across from me as I type.

p.s. A&W breakfast is a horrible decision and never, ever, put your body through it, trust me

Top Ten Things That Make Me Smile

I realize my last post was maybe not the most cheerful note, like the ones you have come to expect from me, so I feel, to balance it out, I will write on the top ten things that make me smile because as a man I can never have too many Top Ten lists. Let it begin:

10. Robin Williams

9. The "Where the Hell is Matt" video on YouTube

8. The ending of Toy Story 3

7. Glenn Miller's 'In the Mood'

6. Watching Mats Sundin's 500th career goal

5. Seeing both parents playing with their kids at the park

4. 24/7 sign outside a McDonalds, Tim Hortons or Wendy's

3. Fish and Chips

2. A 3 year old girl with learning development issues, whom I taught, saying my name for the first time and every time after that

1. 1 John 1:9